If you spot something inspiring in others, you may find it within yourself, too.
We've all heard the expression, “If you spot it, you got it.”
I first learned it through emotional intelligence training, where it was presented as an invitation to look inward when something about another person bothers us. That irritating habit you instantly notice. That personality trait you struggle not to judge. Their off-putting behaviour.
The idea is that the qualities we dislike in others often reflect something within ourselves that deserves a closer look.
Fair enough.
But I've come to appreciate another way of looking at this familiar expression. Why can't it work the other way around?
The People Who Inspire Us
During a recent peer support group session, our conversation turned to what keeps us going during difficult times. Some spoke about their children. Others shared how their faith or personal beliefs gave them strength.
I encouraged the group to think about people outside their immediate circles whose stories had inspired them; people they might never have met, but whose courage, determination, compassion, or accomplishments made them think, I'd love to be more like that.
For me, one of those people has always been Maya Angelou.
I've long admired her wisdom, courage, and grace despite the hardships and injustices she experienced. One of her most widely shared sentiments has become a personal motto for me: people may forget what we say or do, but they'll remember how we made them feel.
What inspires me most is the example she set. She reminds me that being treated unkindly doesn't mean we have to respond with unkindness. We can stand up for what we believe is right while still choosing compassion and dignity. Sometimes, when facing a difficult situation, I even ask myself, What would Ms. Angelou do?
As the group shared their inspirations, familiar sentiments emerged:
“I wish I had that kind of courage.”
“I don't know how they found the strength.”
“I'd love to have that much confidence.”
So I gently offered a different perspective: “When you recognize a quality you admire in someone else, have you considered that you might have some of that same quality within yourself?”
And I reintroduced that familiar expression in a new light: If you spot it, you got it.
Not as a critique of what is broken, but as a spotlight on what is already there, or has been waiting to grow.
What We Admire Can Also Be a Mirror
We often recognize qualities in others more easily than we recognize them in ourselves.
We admire someone's resilience while overlooking the challenges we've already survived.
We celebrate another person's courage without acknowledging the moments we've had to be brave.
We appreciate someone's kindness while forgetting the compassion we've extended to others, sometimes during our own most difficult days.
And confidence? Well, that one might still be a work in progress!
But that's the beauty of this perspective. We don't have to possess a quality perfectly to recognize that it exists within us, or that we have the potential to develop it. The people who inspire us aren't showing us everything we're missing. They're helping us recognize what we've overlooked, or showing us what we'd like to grow.
Either way, inspiration becomes an opportunity rather than a comparison.
Spot It. Find It. Grow It.
The next time someone's story moves you, try something different.
Instead of thinking, “I wish I could be like that,” identify the exact quality you admire. Is it their courage? Their compassion? Their determination? Their ability to find humour in difficult circumstances?
Then look for that same quality in your own life. Remember a time you showed courage, even when you were frightened. A moment you demonstrated compassion. A challenge you kept working through when giving up would have been easier.
And if you haven't developed that specific quality yet, consider one small way you could begin. Admiration doesn't have to end with wishing. It can become the beginning of doing.
That's the version of “If you spot it, you got it” I hope you'll carry forward - not as a reminder of everything you need to fix, but as an invitation to nurture the strengths that inspire you.
Because the next person whose strength moves you might also be reminding you of your own strength.
🌿 Before You Go...
Think of someone who inspires you. Now, name one quality you admire about them.
Before you move on with your day, find one example of that quality in yourself, or one small way you can begin developing it. Give yourself a little credit for the person you already are, and a little encouragement for the person you're becoming.
If you spot it, you got it. And if you haven't quite got it yet, you can grow it.
- Shannon K. Shinn
Founder, Dignified Reinvention™
Creator of The R.E.S.T. Method™
